This was so gut wrenchingly hard and incredibly personal to share. It's been nearly a year and we are still grieving. Trauma hits harder in lockdown. Whatever you may be going through, not having the ability to have your support network in times of devastation is one of the cruelest experiences you can endure. Living in Melbourne and going through the longest and harshest lockdowns in this country, the wait list for psychological help is real, unless you are suicidal, that was the state of play at the time.
We do not talk about this enough. Which is why I am sharing this, at a personal cost to me. I want to provide support and comfort for the women that have come before me, and will inevitably come after me. We need to share these experiences, to heal and support the women we love and care about.
I consider myself an educated person but I had no idea how common miscarriage is because we. do. not. talk. about. it. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. 1 in 4. It doesn't matter how healthy you are, your age, your genetics, your anything - it does not discriminate. Don't get me wrong, I get it, when it's happened you are so far gone in your grief, you are trying to survive the days, hours, minutes, hell, seconds that follow, and how do you even talk about it? If you're at an earlier stage of your pregnancy and you haven't announced, do you say "Hey! I got pregnant!", they say "Yay!" and then you say, "Yeah, but now, the baby's gone"? It's incredibly sad news and people do not know how to react, because we don't talk about it enough. You end up making them feel better about their sadness for you, which makes you not want to share it again because it's just an uncomfortable traumatic cycle.
If we are more educated on this, we can create a safe space for women to share their stories and support them in their grief. So here's my experience, straight from the heart. Thank you to my family and friends who have supported me through this as much as they could in lockdown.
Here is the article: https://www.mamamia.com.au/sharon-johal-miscarriage/